In the beginning I decided that this was just what motherhood was like. I felt as though I just needed to accept that this was my life and I would be OK with it and soon be happy again. But, happiness didn't come to me as easily as it used it. It used to be easy for me to pull myself out of a funk. I then started attributing my sadness to everything in my life that wasn't going according to plan. I had a hard time nursing, I had medical issues that resulted in surgery, financial issues that come along with having a baby, my family was changing in so many way, and I just kept thinking that I would feel better when each of these things worked themselves out.
My anxiety got worse as I tried to fix all the problems in my life and as they were fixed and the anxiety didn't stop I starting thinking that maybe I had more of a problem than I thought. As I started looking into the signs and symptoms of PPD I started to notice that not only did I have most of the symptoms, I had been making excuses for them. As soon as I was able to admit that I had a problem that I couldn't handle on my own (something very difficult for a mom to do) I began taking the necessary steps to get better.
I think that the process of discovery was the most difficult part for me. Now that I know I have a problem the thoughts and feelings are easier to control. For instance, I had a severe fear of choking. I was worried that my daughter was going to choke on her binky. So much so that I didn't like to leave her alone with her binky. A BINKY!!!! I knew it was crazy but I couldn't stop it. Now I can at least recognize the irrational thoughts and talk myself out of it.
What are some of the irrational thoughts you've had and what do you do to help calm yourself down?http://www.postpartumprogress.com/six-things-the-6-stages-of-postpartum-depression
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